I’m hoping it’ll be in some sort of outside naturey feely type setting. Maybe a farm looking thing. I want my fiance to ride up in a red tractor (or white pony, no but probably tractor). She’s amazing. I think if I requested it from her she would probably do it. I can’t think straight. So many things have happened. As I had feared, a part of my died yesterday. I imagined it to be a little more gruesome however. I thought I would die in a horrific car accident. I’m surprised I didn’t however, as I was going over 100 miles per hour on the freeway after I had drank. My fiance drank with me, we had a little talk, and now she is getting into bed as our bathroom is making weird sounds. I love her so much. I can’t wait to get into bed and just hold her throughout the night. I’ve been going to sleep at 5am because she is not with me in bed. I love her so much, what the fuck would I do without her. She guided me to a better place. A place full of happiness. A place where I can say no and feel absolutely OK. I hope that someday some people will realize that this isn’t about myself or about her, but that it’s a connection that the world has found and is finally placing into action. Because this, this is something more than love. This is something real that I can touch with my own two hands. This is the girl that I want with me for the rest of my life.